Setting personal standards.

I like to think personal standards are relatively different from one person to another. The way i let people treat me is different from the way another person allows others to treat them. The way i choose to respond to emotionally draining situations is completely different from that of another person.
When setting this standards for yourself,make sure you remain authentic to yourself cuz at the end of the day you doing it for yourself. Personal standards are ‘items’ that can be used to define you at a personal level, the kind of way you expect yourself to behave,how you should respond to situations that trigger you to engage,what you allow yourself to tolerate from those surrounding you,how much is too much when it comes to being disrespected e.t.c
Personal standards are meant to guide you in choosing what you should and should not allow in your space. For instance i may have a personal standard against engaging in an argument when I’m angry because i may say things without meaning them,knowing this will allow me not to engage in arguments when angry,i’ll opt to leave the room if i have to provided i do not engage, also i may have a personal standard that does not allow me to suck up on people that don’t like me just because they think they are better than everyone else,having this in mind will easily allow me to avoid people who do not like me for whatever reason,afterall not everyone will like you. Having personal standards,you protect yourself from unnecessary stress because you understand who you are as a person and anything less than that should get going.
When setting this person standards for yourself,make sure you take time to understand the person you were,the person you are and the person you are trying to be. It’s important for you to understand this because you don’t want to set standards for the person you once were who is not the person you are today and probably not the person you intend on becoming in the future. Understanding what you want to gain from this standards you set for yourself is also key. Maybe all you want now is to have better relationships with your friends,parents,daughters and sons e.t.c,from having an understanding of this,you will set standards that allow you to be more available for the relationships you are trying to grow.
Personal standards can be intimidating to others,maybe i don’t allow people to step all over me,for a person who steps all over others may find me intimidating. Which leads to the question,should i base my personal standards based on other’s abilities to respond to them? Personally i think they are personal because they are set by me and i should set them regardless of other people’s ability to respond to them. I mean just because they enjoy making others feel like they are not enough doesn’t mean i should feel like i am not enough,see set those standards and let whoever wants to level up to them,level. With personal standards people around us either choose to meet them or not, unfortunately you can’t make the choice to level up for them.
Personal standards are not supposed to make you inaccessiible,if anything they should help you become more accessible to people who really know what it means to have you in their space. If anyone finds you inaccessible because they think your personal standards are way up there in the clouds,maybe they are not meant for you at that moment. Personal standards should remind us of the self worth we each place on ourselves,and if the people around you can’t see the worth you see in yourself,maybe it’s time you held the door wide open for them to leave.
Remember with personal standards,others choose whether to level up or not. It’s a choice they make.

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