I have a number of fears. Some rational,some completely irrational but that doesn’t make them any less of a fear. If i was to define fears,i would say that these are responses to deeply rooted traumatic experiences we happen to have experienced but not had the chance to deal with them. Scared moments of emotionally, physically, psychologically draining situations we thought we had dealt with but when we are left alone in a dark room,it becomes evident that we still have a long way to go,to at least manage the effects of these prior experiences that happened to us.

One of my top three fears would be not being successful. I do not know what success looks like for you,but being wealthy better be on that list. Depending on how you define success,the mere thought of not actually making it there either fully or even partly can be strong enough to plant a fear that builds up every time you make one step forward,and end up making two steps backwards. We have to agree that fears are crippling thoughts we often have,but where exactly do they originate from? It has to have been triggered by an event,in this case, either something that was said by someone successful,or something done to someone as a result of not being successful.

Where do your fears come from? I believe we were not born with fears,we collect them along the way as we journey through life. At two years i don’t know if i knew anything about success let alone have a fear of not being successful. But as i continued to grow through school,where i saw top performing students get rewarded for their academic excellence,while the least performing ones got punished for it, that kind of sent a message,about success being desirable. Outside School,now here is when the fear gets amplified,posts on social media about how people are making millions as bonuses,some owning businesses that generate enough money for them to retire at thirty,others having this picture perfect relationships with their family members and friends,the list goes on and on,all showing what success looks like. Try convincing me that won’t plant a fear in you. I know success is more than just money,but whatever you decide your success to be,there will always be someone portraying a better version of what you envision success to be. Now that’s another conversation.

Fear of being abandoned,not being good enough for someone or a job,fear of letting people down,fear of disappointing those you care about,fear of heights,you name it,it has a place of origin. As you journey through life,validate your fears. Learn to accept them and work on not letting them get the best of you. These are thoughts,sometimes not based on sound judgment,but now you know, start learning about them,and what best way to cope if not address them. Unlearning how we interpret situations and life experiences can also be of help when trying to deal with fears we have. Since most fears are as a result of previous events and experiences, I feel like it’s important for one to take time to understand life experiences,before forming perceptions about them,this process helps one to have a clear understanding of a particular experience which prevents them from forming irrational fears about it.

Is there winning when it comes to fears? I believe yes there is. The same way we picked them up,is the same way we can drop them. It starts with a positive mindset of yes it’s possible to fight and win against your own fears.


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