How much of the reality you are living now has been created by you?
I know the talk about expectations has crossed your ears by now. The one about having low expectations of people in your life, just so you don’t get disappointed when they don’t meet them? On one of my previous posts,Expectations i shared my thoughts about this whole conversation, for context sakes, and for the newbies here I’ll share them again. I don’t think it’s possible not to expect certain things from certain people playing certain roles in my life. I will expect certain behavior from my sisters,from my work mates,etc but them meeting them is entirely up to them, how I respond to them not meeting these expectation is up to me.
In today’s post,I want to share about the expectations we set for ourselves and how much they influence the life we create. The rationale I used to understand this was using relatable life experiences of times I expected certain things from myself and how they influenced the choices I made and outcomes i got. At times when my expectations were low the outcome wasn’t any different but low. Everytime I had high expectations of myself,the results were great, because I took it upon myself to make sure I leveled up to these expectations.What that meant for me is that everytime I belittled my abilities to do something,wether great or small,I was subconsciously setting low expectations for myself. The low expectations resulted to me not making the most of my abilities which in turn led to bare minimum results. Think about that for a minute.
The question I haven’t yet answered is the one of how other people’s expectations of us influence our realities. Is it just to say that another person’s expectations of me have the power to change my life for the good or bad? Because if you ask me, I think we are the authors of our own lives. No one has that much power over our life stories but ourselves. It’s always up to me to create the life I want by setting certain expectations of myself which result to a certain quality of life, right???
I don’t know much about other people’s expectations of me. Let me explain why that is so. I pride myself in being my own person. So if someone else comes and tells me something like I’m a failure,I’m not good enough,or I’m not going to amount to anything more in life I will not believe it. The only time I’ve let other people’s low expectations create my realities was when I didn’t believe in myself to be good,or make it to a certain point in life. See, it only got to me because I wasn’t setting different expectations of myself than the ones other people were setting for me. In other words, other people’s low expectations only affect my realities when I don’t have high expectations of myself.
Let’s look on the flip side. What happens when others set high expectations of me? Well that’s great! But that’s not going to cut it. Again unless I have set high expectations for myself ,the high expectations from others won’t do much good for me. If my expectations are high then that, that will definitely do me some good, because it’s not coming from outside but from inside,because I’m the one who gets to decide, regardless of what other people expect of me.
I understand the talk about expectations is about perspective. Everyone is right based on how they understand expectations. But one thing is for sure, the expectations we set for ourselves are to some extent responsible for the realities we create for ourselves. If we expect ourselves to be great,we will only align ourselves with things that bring us closer to greatness. When we expect ourselves to be bare minimum or below average in our lives,then that is the reality we are choosing to create for ourselves. I don’t believe in letting another person’s expectations of me create the realities of the life I’m living, and neither should you.
Reclaim the power back, create your own realities. Be audacious with the expectations you set for yourself and put in the work to see them play out great, because that’s what’s up! It’s all in our minds,our mindset is our life set.
#journey through redefinition.